From Macau with Love
You may have heard that Macau is boring. It is. But it’s a magical place for pictures if you’re so inclined.
Come down the rabbit hole with me.
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Dear Pompous Corporate Bigwigs
I wonder if you’re aware of the douchebaggery you emanate when you make your laughable demands. Is your sense of self-importance so grotesquely bloated? Or has your understanding of reality become skewed by the long years spent with your head shoved up your arse? Here’s a suggestion: get out of your office more. And stop putting things on the company tab.
Well. I’ve decided that today, you can wait on my convenience. Suck on that.
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Mid-afternoon fantasy
It’s 3:13pm. I flip my laptop out the window like a frisbee. Then I toss my phone into the microwave and set it for 30 minutes.
And then I buy a pair of Manolos at Harvey Nick’s.
Just kidding.
Especially if you’re reading this, boss. Haha.
Okay, back to work.
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Things I’ve wondered about
- What happens on a molecular level when you thermally heat water that’s already been microwaved? Or vice versa?
- How would a monkey react to seeing a dead monkey? Would it get emotional?
- Why is Violet Affleck blonde, given her parents are both brunette?
- If a person could hear all my thoughts, would that person like me more, or less?
- Why is Twilight so good even though it’s so badly written?
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To Kindle or not to Kindle?
As part of my bid to act like the responsible adult that I am, I’m weighing the pros and cons of buying a Kindle 2, even though I’m chomping at the bit.
Pros
- I’m an avid reader, and I’m having daydreams about taking it to the beach. I WANT.
- A Kindle can go in itty bitty purses, unlike a dead-tree book. And Kindles hold a whole library.
- Here in Hong Kong dead-tree books are expensive and limited in selection, so I buy them off Amazon. Shipping is killer, and the wait’s no fun.
- I hate waiting a year or more for mass market paperbacks. Esp for sequels.
- E-books are environmentally friendly.
- The Kindle is all shades of awesome and seems to have gotten positive reviews.
Cons
- US$359 + shipping (that’s HK$2,800 + shipping). That’s a lot of money.
- Need a US credit card and billing address. There are (non-validated) ways around that, but it’s a real pain.
- No Whispernet outside the States. Need to transfer via USB like a caveman.
- Need to charge via USB, since the charger can’t be used in Hong Kong.
- Some of the newer books on my to-read list aren’t available for the Kindle.
- I’ve never actually tested or even seen one in the flesh, so to speak.
So. To Kindle or not to Kindle?
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To whom it may concern
Dear fellow citizens of Hong Kong,
You’ve got a neat place here, I like it. But let me introduce you to something called pedestrian etiquette. It’s a lot like driving. I know most of you don’t drive, so I won’t bitch you out. But since we’re packed like tinned sardines here, allow me to do a crash course on road safety:
Don’t cut someone off when you veer in another direction. Check your blind spot to make sure you won’t walk into someone, particularly pregnant women. There’s a special punishment for people who knock over pregnant women.
Don’t block the escalator when you get off in order to figure out directions. Keep moving, or else people coming off behind you will ram into your ass and insult your mother.
Don’t stop walking all of a sudden, because you don’t have brake lights on the back of your head, and people will walk into you. We call it a multiple pile-up, where I come from.
Don’t U-turn without warning, because the person behind you will walk right into your gob. And that’s a bit more intimate than most people are prepared to get with a stranger.
Refrain from blocking the sidewalk if you’re popular and you have a lot of friends. We know you’re hot stuff and we envy you. Just don’t bottleneck the sidewalk. And keep the screaming down please.
Walk at the same pace as everyone else. I lost points for driving at speed limit during my first driving test because I was “holding up traffic”. Which I still think is unfair, but that’s beside the point.
That about covers it really. Let’s keep pedestrian traffic smooth and make life easier for everyone. Oh, I almost forgot. Use deodorant. It’s not really walking etiquette, but it’s appreciated.
Thanks and regards,
Jenny
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Things I’ve noticed
- Right after you learn a new phrase or concept it will keep coming up.
- Each country has its own inimitable smell, just like people. The best place to smell it is freshly opened luggage.
- Ticket stubs magically disappear. Unlike receipts, which magically multiply.
- Dogs have an excellent sense of rhythm.
- “I always lie” is a logically impossible statement.
- I get exceptionally confused when I go to sleep in the daytime and wake up at night.
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From Shenzhen with Love
Rather Ghibli-esque.
I love this gallery function. It makes things so much easier.
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Overstating the Obvious
When I got to work this morning I found this rather curious sign taped to the door of the women’s washroom.
What’s going on here??
.
Update: Apparently a rather suspect pair of legs was glimpsed under the stall door. And apparently this person had such large hairy feet, was wearing such ugly sandals, and was creating such a stink that it could only have been a man.
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Bad Ads: A Rant
Recently there’ve been a slew of provocative ads whose goal is some sort of attitude adjustment. Some are downright counterproductive, and demonstrate a clear failure to understand human motivation. In two words: they suck. I present to the jury two samples: Stupid.ca, and Obay.
Sample 1: Stupid.ca
While I abhor smoking, even I find this campaign offensive. I assume the target audience is teenaged pre-smokers. And they need to know: there’s stupidity, and then there’s chemical addiction. Let’s face it, it’s easier to label people stupid than it is to think about the possibility of dying from cancer 50 years down the road. Isn’t Stupid.ca doing impressionable people a disservice by generating contempt for a group of individuals, rather than educating them on the reasons against smoking right from the get-go (ala LostJaw.ca, which is revolting, but effective)?
And let’s not forget, telling a smoker that he/she must be stupid because he/she smokes will not bring about some sort of epiphany that will give them sudden immunity to chemical addiction. They’ll just get pissed. Who’s the stupid one now?
Sample 2: Obay
Sorry, not the best angle. I blame the monster snowbanks
You’d have to have lived in a cave not to have seen these ads around Toronto in the past several months. Yes. I agree with the message. I agree that there are some Asian and Indian parents who are unable to respect their children’s career choices, and I agree that attitude needs to change. What this ad seems to be doing however, is making a joke out of an ancient mindset that embodies esteem for one’s elders over oneself. It encourages mocking rebellion, and puts parents everywhere on the defensive.
Way to pave the path to peaceful, mutually beneficial discussions. Hats off to you, Colleges Ontario, you’ve just incited strife in households province-wide. And you’ve made yourselves look racist and ignorant.
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